How to Feel

Written By David Del Francia

Emotions don’t need to be fixed.

One of the best indicators that you are making progress in therapy is the ability to identify your emotions as you’re feeling them.

Below is a structured approach to understanding and managing feelings developed by psychologist and author, Tara Brach. Brach's RAIN technique stands for Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nurture, and it provides a practical framework for processing emotional experiences.

Start by Recognizing the emotion you’re experiencing—acknowledge it without judgment. This initial step helps you become aware of the feelings that arise and sets the stage for deeper exploration.

Next, Allow yourself to fully experience the emotion without trying to suppress or deny it. Accepting your feelings as they are can reduce their intensity and help you stay grounded.

The third step, Investigate, involves exploring the underlying causes of your emotions. Ask yourself questions about the triggers and thoughts associated with the feelings, allowing for a deeper understanding of what is at play.

Finally, practice Nurturing by offering yourself compassion and support. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, as you would a friend in a similar situation. This approach not only helps you navigate difficult emotions but also fosters a more compassionate relationship with yourself. By integrating the RAIN technique into your emotional toolkit, you can enhance your ability to process and manage complex feelings with greater ease and resilience.

Follow this link for a guided RAIN meditation by Tara Brach.